MyGayBreakup
Articles
MyGayBreakup Resources
MyGayBreakup eBooks
Lifted Hearts Breakup Links
My
Breakup Space
My Breakup Blog
Flip This Break Up
Breakups Magazine
Cunnilingus
Academy
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!
|
My Gay Breakup
Articles
How to Successfully Remain Friends after
Your Gay Breakup
Breakups are a hard subject for a lot of men.
If you felt you were truly in love, and your relationship ended, you may
end up feeling a sense of heartbreak that you have never felt before. On
rare occasions, some people, along with their partners, are lucky enough
to realize that their relationship was not working out, and both mutually
chose to end the relationship. However, for the most part at least one person
in the relationship chooses to end it, and the other person has no say in
it at all. For these people, the pain can be unbearable. This is why the
subject of boyfriends being 'just friends' after a breakup is relatively
unheard of. On rare occasions you will see a few guys that can become successful
friends after a split, but for the most part they split up and go their seperate
ways.
If you want to remain friends with your ex you
need to consider a few things in order to keep your friendship on track -
otherwise there could end up being hurt feelings (and these will mostly be
on your side!). The first thing you need to do is give the relationship a
breather. If one, or both, of you were hurt you are going to need some time
to heal. A long time! Take that time and consider the good that came from
your relationship. In the beginning, this will be hard - but, rather than
getting upset, try and think of what being with your ex has taught you. If
at all possible try to find what you got out of the relationship, and
how it added to you as a person, you will have a better chance of being his
friend when the time is right.
Once some time has passed, and you feel you
have healed, you can initiate contact. If you were friends before dating,
you may just be able to go back to that spot without a problem. However,
if the relationship was the main focus there will be a few rules you might
want to follow for your own sanity and the sake of your new friendship.
Just say no to sex
As delicious as your sex life might have been,
it obviously wasn't enough to keep your relationship together. If it had
been then you wouldn't be reading this. If you get to the point where you
can socialize, and have a good time together, then you don't need to complicate
it by adding an element of sexuality to the relationship. This only sets
you up for heartbreak! You might be able to successfully socialize in public
and with other friends, but the easiest way to bring back those feelings
of love and heartbreak will be a romp through the sheets.
Leave the past in the past
If you want a successful 'friendship' you probably
are not going to be able to have those 'talks' about 'things' like you used
to do. Your relationship is over, and the more you dwell on the fact that
you once were lovers, the greater your chance is of losing your friend. You
don't want that to happen! ... so leave it alone! It's over. This does not
mean you should pretend it never happened, it just means that you should
make sure that you are not constantly bringing it up - because that just
opens you up to the type of hurt, or resentment, that can harm your friendship.
Take the lessons from your breakup
Once you understand the reasons why you aren't
together again, take these reasons as valuable lessons to help you in your
future relationships. Also, see to it that you don't repeat similar mistakes
in your present friendship with your ex, otherwise you may lose the new
friendship, as well. Obviously, this may not be applicable to every situation.
For instance, if you (or your lover) cheated then it's not going to be something
that would hinder a 'friend' situation. However, if you were inconsiderate,
or despondent, and often added that side of yourself to your relationship
- and that made your ex not want to be around you - then you probably
would want to avoid showing this negative side of yourself in your new friendship
with your ex. It could drive a wedge between your 'friendship', as well.
Communicate constantly
Friends should be able to be open and honest
with one another. It may feel weird to be friends with your ex - and he may
feel that way, too - but it isn't entirely not possible. The goal here is
to always be up front. Talk about your feelings together, as friends would,
and you may find a new part of your relationship that didn't previous exist
in your 'romantic' relationship. There is an intimacy to friendship that
is sometimes lacking with 'couple relationships', and that is what you want
to build your new friendship on. Make your friendship strong, and the stronger
it becomes the more open you will be able to be with one another.
Finally, you should never attempt to build a
friendship with your ex in hopes of getting him back. This is one of those
underhanded things that many men will not forgive. Once the relationship
ends, let it go, let him go, and give him back to himself. If things
come full circle, and you end up together again, that's fine - but don't
befriend him with hopes of pushing that along! It will serve no purpose other
than to set you up for more heartache and proplonged
pain. |
