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My Gay Breakup
Articles
Depression and Relationships - Can You
Handle Both?
Even though depression has existed for quite
some time in the gay community, it has recently become more and more a common
problem among gays. Depression can take over your life, allowing you to focus
only on your feelings of hopelessness rather than on your family, friends,
work, and even your relationship. When you are dating the man of your dreams
it is important you discuss your depression so he knows if you get in a
depressive funk he should not take it personal.
This has led to the question of whether depressed
individuals can handle relationships. More importantly, not only does the
depression hinder the stability of the relationship itself, but the depression
can overtly affect your partner, as well. You must keep in mind that not
every person is strong enough to handle the ups and downs of your cycling
depression. You may find that your partner is unable to cope with the depression,
and opt to leave the relationship - and you! This does not make them
a bad person as every person has the right to look out for their own well-being
and happiness first and foremost. You should respect them for their honesty
and maturity. It may be far be worse on the both of you if your partner were
to remain in an unhappy situation - one which could turn out to be unhealthy
for both of you.
Unfortunately, losing your partner during your
most needy time can cause your depression to esculate! So, what if the depression
is more than just feeling a little 'low'? What if you feel an unrelenting,
and oppressive, sadness sweep over you. What if it consumes you, making your
body feel as if it weighs a half-of-a-ton, and making you feel like there's
absolutely no reason to get out of bed ever again? Where your soul feels
empty and washed out to sea, and your 'reason' for living has completely
escaped you. The walls seem black, and the sky does too. And you wonder,
"Do I have to go on?" And what if these oppressive feelings linger on and
on? Ouch, my dear-this is serious depression! And serious depression needs
serious attention, ASAP.
Serious depression, such as the one I described
above, needs prompt care from a trained professional. Serious depression
can have many causes-it may be chemical in nature,
biological, emotional, or mental. Or any combination
of the four. Serious
depression is damaging in that it distorts our
perception of the world around us. It narrows our view to the point where
we eventually can't see past the distorted thoughts of depression. If you
feel that you just can't shake out of this depressed mood, if you really
don't even care, or, heaven's forbid, you feel like you just don't want to
go on-then I beg you to please seek help as soon as possible-like right now,
this minute! There is assistance available to help you get rid of those dark
clouds and see that there is a brighter day. And, believe me, there is a
brighter day! You deserve to see it, touch it, feel it, and live it-there
is no need to go on in a depressed state of mine!
Your serious depression may be treated by medication
such as Paxil, Welbutrin, Zoloft, and/or Prozac. If you are being prescribed
medication and you start to feel better please remember to stay on the
medication. That is what is helping you to feel better. I cannot even count
how many times I've had one of my friends suffering from depression tell
me that they were okay 'now' - so they stopped taking their medication. I
should add that every single one of them had a relapse within 1-3 months.
Additionally, you should never stop taking these type of medications
'suddenly'… even your doctor will tell you that one must be weaned slowly
off of antidepressants.
If you are on medication that seems to be working,
and life seems to be improving, then there is absolutely no reason why depression
should affect your life. Even if you have trouble controlling your depression
the right man can make your life much better. While true depression
cannot be cured by simply having a caring partner, 'the blues' can be
prevented by a nice, long lasting, caring relationship that is shared mutually
between two individuals. So, in effect, the positive nature of a relationship
can, in fact, be a comfort to a depressed individual rather then a hindrance.
If you happen to break up with your significant
other/partner/boyfriend and suffer from depression you may want to discuss
this with both your doctor and your psychologist (if you are seeing one).
You need to get these feelings out in the open and have your psychologist
help you to work through them, so you are not constantly dwelling on the
breakup.
Breakups are rough enough on anyone in a
relationship - let alone someone who suffers from depression. The main thing
you need to remember is that it is not your fault. Breakups mainly happen
due to incompatibility. Relationship breakdowns are not discriminatory! Everyone
has been dumped at least once, or has dumped someone themselves. Don't let
the breakup get you down too much, because you will need to keep your strength
and spirits up for the day-to-day activities that may already seem hard enough
for you to handle.
NOTE: If you have broken up with your significant
other/boyfriend and believe that you may have suicidal feelings seek help
immediately. Suicide is never the answer. No man and definitely no relationship
are worth killing yourself over. The important thing is to keep yourself
healthy as you try to forget about him, and the pain you are feeling as a
result of your split.
Depression does not have to rule your life or
relationships. In fact, depression will only affect your relationships if
you allow it to do so. By keeping an eye out for the warning signs of a
depressive episode, or by recognizing early suicidal tendencies, you can
help to prevent harm to one of the most important people you know: Yourself.
For more information on recovering from a breakup,
and to better understand the pain of a relationship breakup, please visit
http://lovehurts.us.
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